Like a cow to the slaughter...

This is me. The cow.  

The Slaughter. Would be the scale.  

One might think, but Ruth? Haven't you been dedicating yourself whole heartedly to working out, running like a Jonas Brother being chased by the mother of a 12 year old school girl who didn't get a ticket? 

Why yes readers. I have. So why, one might ask again, are you as down trodden as that same school gir's mother who never did catch that blasted Jonas brother?

BEcause, bloggerites. It's not working! It is in fact, having the very opposite effect. I cannot for any reason, other than God truly hating my very existence, think of a reason that I would be gaining weight? 

Stop right there. I know. Muscle weighs more than fat. But let me assure you. I've seen the Rock. I've Seen JOhn Cena. And what I've got going on down there. Doesn't even come close to resembling muscle. 

I'm fat. 

I'm still fat. so much so, that this conversation was able to transpire one evening during a harmless gathering of friends...

ME: You know what I think is so funny?

Group: Besides Kevin Federline still considering a career as an artist? What?

Me: I never get hit on by guys. EVER. I am not seeking it mind you, but I don't ever get hit on by them? I do however seem to attract females like MC Hammer attracted bad debts. I don't get it?

Group. (Mostly one guy in group): You know why that is don't you? 

Me: No, weird bald guy in group who I really wasn't talking to. Why?

Guy: (notice the lack of group reply) Well, you are kind of sexy, but you're also fat. Girls like personality. Guys like the appearance. Lose some weight. And you'll be set...

ME: (holding iPhone in such a way that should the voices in my head telling me to stab him, don't subside, I can thrust it at his jugular and run without so much as a missed call). Um? Ok. Thanks? I think?

yeah. I know. 

WHAT??? So that's it. I'm fat. I'm not as fat as I once was but apparently, I am still too round to elicit response from males. Were I actively seeking, I might be in trouble.

If I were not so intent on losing this weight before my 10 year reunion, ( I know what you're thinking, and yes, I am only 21. I graduated when I was 11. No worries), I would just say forget it. But I can't. I have to do this. It's that important to me. I will be the girl who looks better at her reunion than she did at her graduation. It helps a lot that the only photo still around of me on my graduation gives me the appearance of a girl who was unable to be in the suns presence during her 17 year stay on the earth, and apparently was also forbidden to use a hair brush? I'm thanking my lucky stars we were required to wear gowns, because there is no telling what ensemble I opted for in order to WOW my 356 other classmates, who could have cared less.

In other news, that isn't weight related, and yes, occasionally I have that. 

I've begun the daunting task of getting settled into my scrapbook room. I took the opportunity to utilize this time when my children are home all day, and the rain sees the need to grace us with it's presence, to put them to work. I've always known my kids were built for hard labor. They have their fathers muscles, and my dedication to excuse making as to why they can't use them. 

Bribery was however on my side. And we lugged 4 more totes into the room. I began the task, by making "piles" placing things of a similar nature, into groups with other things of that same similar nature. And I've come to realize. Alot of scrapbook stuff looks alike. Either that, or I'm just really bad at making piles...

So. THis is what we have. 

 Before. And After. HA. 

Yeah. I'm not funny. I have serious issues with organizing. I try. I mean well. But sadly after 3 days, and 100 trips up the stairs with buckets full of crap. I have this to show for it. Woo hoo. Buttons. I know. BAby steps. That's the same approach I take to all my life's goals I have no intention of ever meeting. I say baby steps, and people assume I'm making progress. Usually. I'm not.

I don't know. I mean well. ASide from the no scrap Zone being in dire straights. The rest of life seems to be, well following suit. I need a career. A serious one. It appears that useless house wife who spends her days filling out myspace and facebook surveys in an attempt to forget about the laundry that is piling up faster than evidence against OJ Simpson, is actually not a very lucrative venture. My college idea was fantastic, but they booed my idea of trading scrapbook paper for tuition, so until which time I find a concrete source to pay for my college. I'm back to square 1. Which would actually imply I had left square zero. 

I have not. So there you have it folks. My happiness was short lived. My pants are still just as tight. My Scrap HQ, or ground zero as I like to call it, is just as messy, and my desire to go on has all  but been squashed. I know. Woe is me. Go eat a twinkie Ruth. Quit lamenting

 

Perhaps I shall. In the mean time. Keep your eyes on the prize. Whatever yours may be. I'm shooting for a size 10. not a size 1( ). That's me. Falling out of my pants. Just in case you wondered. I'm still here. Probably on facebook. If you need me. Feel free to contact me. 

Bloggingly Yours. Ruthimus. 

Comments

[rachel whetzel]

Ahhhh I love you. :) Esp. the image I have of you stabbing someone with your Iphone. That's a good one. Thaaaat was RICH. :P

[AnnaMarie]

You SO make me smile :) - you deserve good things and more! I have faith in you - that kind of humor and outlook DESERVES all things good, girl! :)

[micayla]

Fat, ha ha ha. I think that bloke was a fool(I am being polite...I do want to swear)! I personally dont see any fat, man alive I would be overjoyed to like like you do after 4 children. I have had one and am twice the size of you! Sod him girl.........period!

[Laura]

Baby steps, indeed. Progress is progress - even if only measured in buttons.
Keep up the fight!

[Lisa]

You see, you need to skip everything & come to Louisiana!

http://livinlouisiana.blogspot.com

[remember moments-krystyn]

I'm 14 months post baby and still carrying 20lbs extra, so I feel your pain. It's frustrating as hell.

As for the scrapping goods, you could host a crop where no one brings product, just supplies and I bet that stuff would get organized really quickly.

[hanna]

I'm in awe of all of your scrappy supplies. I feel so inferior. *sigh* I'd offer to come over, bringing my (5.2) kids in tow to amuse yours - however, seeing as I'm about a million miles... or at least a 30+ hr drive from you, I'm not so sure it would work too well.

You'll get there, in both the organizing & the weight loss. It just takes time. After all, you didn't acquire either over night. If you happen to be looking for an online buddy to 'report' to, feel free to hit me up. I need some motivation to get off my couch before I look like a house in less than 7mo! (i'm due in dec with baby #6)

[cheryl]

dude. that guy was a freaking idiot. please tell me that didn't really happen. because if it did then *I* want to stab him with my (slightly less cool but somewhat sturdier) treo. what a jerk.
i actually looked at your photo and thought that it would be awesome if i looked that good. seriously. just go to ponderosa or some other all-you-can-eat buffet and compare yourself to all the all you can eaters. that's what i do when i'm feeling fat. you will for sure be thanking God that you have so much farther to go to get to the point they are at. and it takes so much less energy than going to a gym full of skinny people. also, they usually have great fried chicken.

[Krystyn]

Hey woman - you've been ScrapJacked!! Awesome LO by the way. Maybe you already knew you were scrapjacked, but just in case, here you have it! Congrats!!

[Haggith]

I just wanted to say that if you're fat and post a photo like that, then America must have slimmed down totally!!!! :)

But I do understand the weight of extra lbs. so good luck with that venture.

Can't wait to see you scrapping again, though!!! So get those scrappy supplies organized (throw away half, it helps) and show us some of those awesome pages!!! :)

[Lisa Martin]

i think you look mad sexy!

[Debbie C]

Saw your LO on scrapjacked. Better get that scrap room organized (or not). Just scrapbook! I would say it will help you lose weight, but not a very caloric burning hobby we have :-(

[Kate]

You totally should have stabbed him. It probably would have burned off some calories and made you feel much better about the situation. LOL

P.S. I think you're gorgeous, thin and a FAB blogger/scrapbooker.