When it rains...

You can pretty much tell what kind of day you are going to have within the first 2-4 minutes of being awake. Or so it is for those of us with children.

Case in point, 7:45, the alarm goes off, yet strangely enough, my bed is empty. Which, might SEEM normal to most married women who's husbands are deployed, but when you live in a 6 bedroom house with 15 people, waking up alone means one of 2 things: The Lord has called your family home, and you were not invited, or the children are up to NO GOOD. Being that nobody in this house is quite ready to return to their maker, I began to panic.

Without so much as a 25 second head start, to prepare me for what I am going to see when I open my  bedroom door, I hear the voice of Aubree: "Mom, if you see brown stuff in the tub, it's either Chocolate, or poop".
I've never been a betting woman, but I'm willing to lay you money, I'm not going to find a Dove bar.

Seems the potty train, the one I bought tickets for 3 weeks ago, hoping Charity would climb aboard with me, had left the station. Not only had it left without her, it has become quite apparent, it's not coming back this way for a good 2 or 3 months. (What do you want to bet, there's no refunds on that badboy?)

I cleaned up that awesomeness, and figured with a start like that, we could only move upward. I guess I see now why I failed statistics. Figures and me... we're just, No.

I took it upon myself to let Mikey pack his own lunch last night. He has been begging for hot lunch, and while the idea of it is tempting, (no packing, no paper products, no forgetting it on the bus, ) the idea of forking out $3 a day for something I'm pretty sure he's flinging at unassuming kindergarteners, just isn't getting me excited. When I initially offered this idea up, I fully intended on supervising him in the process. What I didn't count on, was the complete removal of all the keys on my laptop by my niece, and my still diapered 2 year old, as I bathed a sickly Mia, who was still all smiles, but very much in need of a cleaning.

I always heard it said genius children are known for taking things apart and putting them back together at early ages. They got the complete removal of the keys down, yet when it came time to reassemble their little "project", their IQ's suddenly failed them.

After playing sherlock in my room for a good 2 hours, I managed to locate all but 4 of the keys, the "v", and the first 3 function keys. I set out to putting the kids to bed, and was delighted to take a moment to myself.

When I realized at 8am, that I hadn't yet surveyed the contents of Mikey's lunch box, I asked him to let me see it. He removed from his backpack, what I imagine a small group of large men would feast upon after having been left in the wilderness to fend for themselves for 2 weeks.   I realize that this may appear to be a whole lot of processed food for  one child to eat, you have to understand we usually take a wrap, an apple, and ONE sweet delicious or salty snack. Never have we just opened up the floor for whatever strikes your fancy. And yes, that IS an entire can of spaghettios in there. I had to draw the line at bringing the can opener .

He was not impressed when I made him remove all but the cheese stick, and the oreos, in favor of some fruit, and a something who's first ingredient isn't "glucose". Things settled down for a bit when the kids finally got into school. Only to take off again when it was time to meet the bus. The doors open, and Mikey steps off. Ok, 1 down, 1 to go. The driver waves good-bye, and begins to pull away. Ummm, I do believe I have another 6 year old aboard your trusty yellow wagon. He disagrees, and proceeds to drive away. I turn to my son who informs me, Isaac's coat is camoflauge, it's possible he's still on the bus, just not recognizable to the untrained eye. I take his knowledge into account as I head to the school for my brother.  Sure enough, there he sits, in the cafeteria, awaiting someone to pick him up.

I've become the "mother" to 4 new children. And while I am more than willing to do it, sometimes I just don't think they want me. I can't say I blame them.

We get home from our little excursion, and I decide to climb Mt. Everest, AKA, the laundry pile, only to be met by a leak in the washing machine, which has dampened the ENTIRE pile of clothes. I start troubling deaf heaven with my bootless cries, and swear off clothing all together, when my favorite boxcar child, is once again running the opposite way of the train tracks. I don't even want to see what she's done, and vow to duct tape her diaper on her, until she's secured acceptance into an Ivy league school. (Of course they'd have to be willing to change her diapers.)

At this point, the day is all but shot, and I'm drowning my sorrows in a cup of cold-stone, (Why diet, when one can have self-loathing, and fat-rolls for free?).

It is then I remember the words of someone, although who, fails me right now. "This too shall pass". Almost as if I'm being prompted to just say, you know what, tomorrow WILL be better. It HAS to be better. I give into the urge to cry, and things seem to improve almost immediately. It could be worse, I could have a criminal record still, and be going through all this. Either way. Things do have a way of seeming so funny when you break them down. And I hear crying burns at least 10 calories an hour. So yes, when it rains, it does pour, but I do have the rainbow to look forward to. And for those of you wondering,It might be raining, but I'm not grabbing my umbrella. Heck no. I'm building my ark = )

Comments

[Tawanda]

I've had days like that!! hehe I am glad you are back.

[Debra]

Love it, life is so much more interesting with children!

[Elizabeth]

Good morning! I am praying that you woke this morning with that rainbow in your head and on your life today!

Kids add so much to our lives and your a blessing to every one of them!

[laura vegas]

ahhh, ruth ... i want to run over there and take you for a girls day out! lol! and i know i shouldn't be laughing at your terrible, god-awful day ... but you give me no choice! once again, your story-telling abilities are just amazing! and i'm cracking up at mikey's lunch ... that's hilarious that he had a can of spaghettio's in there. although, that would be a tasty lunch!

sending hugs to you ... and hoping today is a better day! try and keep the sanity intact! and btw ... were you thinking of shaunte's blog (this too shall pass)?

[psmullican]

you poor thing. i still think you should give writing a book a go. your style reminds me of erma bombeck-okay, google her, cause now i know i'm showing my age! anywho...here's hoping for happy trails ahead of you. keep your head up and keep moving! also, have you heard of tammy trent? you might google her, too. she has inspiring story/testimony you might enjoy reading/hearing.

[jenn]

I'm agreeing with psmullican....you could totally right a book. I'd laugh and I'd cry and totally recommend it to all of my friends! Everytime I post to my blog I try to write Ruth style...but it never works! I hope that tomorrow is better for you! lots of love and hugs!

[Tammy H]

I love the story about the lunchbox. And the fact that you took a photo is hysterical and means that though it may feel like you're barely keeping your head above water, you haven't lost your sense of humor in it all. Thinking of you :)

[Katherine B]

I absolutely love visiting your blog! You are hysterical!

[bernie]

Hi R

...and through it all the sunshine of your humour radiates through! What a talent you have...not everyone can write like that...you need to be thinking of characters for your book...it'll be a bestseller! And here's to the brighter sweeter, post-potty-training days ahead!

bx

[Kelly Noel]

ruth, you poor thing! love that you can see the humour in all this!

[vee]

hang in there, it will pass :) ((hugs))
xo

[Denise Morrison]

Ruth,
I know you dont know who the **** I am but let me say this, you my dear are freaking funny. I mean this....you need to write a book. You are the Erma Bombeck of your generation (which is a generation removed from mine)You are bright, funny, sarcastic, irrevrant, and have a true and noble heart with all of your self admitted flaws. You my dear are a delight!