Learn to Swerve.

Get 'R' Done.

And by her, I am in no way referring to a person. I am actually trying to draw your attention to this:

Oh yeah. I got my hair done. And well, let's just say I thought I'd mix it up a little with no more blonde and just alot of brown and red. WHICH. Really is alot of fun, BUT, when one has blonde that one get covered up with red, one tends to resemble Ronald McDonald for about 24 minutes, until the brown is able to replace the shade that was a result of the aforementioned issue. SO, what was supposed to be all brown and a fat streak of red, turned into all brown, and some sporadic red. I got the tips done too, hard to see, what with my awesome brown wall in the background there, but it's alot of fun. I contemplated going for a new haircut, one that might say something, Like: " I'm stylish, I'm HAWT, I know people" But the only haircut that seems to be saying that these days is the bob, brought back by the princess of prada herself, Victoria Beckham.

Being that me and Victoria are almost identicle in body type, (oozing sarcasm there) The only thing my hair would say, is " I eat too much, Keep your Chins up, and "follow me to krispy kreme".

I thought about it for all of 2 seconds, and just decided to get a small trim.

Bigger girls with round faces, should not attempt to get short face revealing hair. Even as a teen, when my weight wasn't a problem, my face is one of those that does not lend itself well to short cuts. I did get the ends cut off and a new curling iron to create, "sexy waves" "And shiny hair all women long for". I had dreams of long flowing locks that blow in the breeze, and just knew men everywhere would want to touch it. I kept waiting for the random hair touching to begin, but suffice it to say, it didn't.

I am saving up my money for these though Hair extensions
Don't they look fun? I mean, if Jessica created them, they must be worth my husbands hard earned money.

ALso, on my kick of getting things done, I found a dress, (one that does not involve 2 people to put on. snaps for Ruth) and it was only, GET THIS. $29.00. It was last years marked down from $150 at Dillards, and I knew before I even tried it on, it was going in my cart. I say cart, but it was actually a stroller, a double stroller to be precise, one that held Aubree and Mia .Actually, one that held Mia. Aubree offered her services as a stroller pusher, and had I not cared about the safety of my 2 month old, I would have taken her up on her offer. I will say this, if you want to get the hassle of buying a dress over quickly, take your 4 year old. Better yet, take mine. She'll get you in and out in a Jiffer. And she'll even make comments at just the right time, to continue to keep the mood alive.

"Mom, is that your fat?" Yes, Aubree, that is my fat. Please stop patting it, I'm trying to try on a dress.

"Why does it keep moving?" Aubree. Please find a spot to sit while I try on this dress."

"Mom, remember ootrasystem that we saw on TV?" Yes, Aubs, It's nutrasystem and yes I remember it.

"Well, we should get some." (by we, she means me)
Thanks Aubs. I'll do that.

Get your toy. Let's go.

With the hardest part over, I just need to find a sexy hair-do, one that will keep while I shake my groove thing on the dance floor. I can't wait to get dressed up. It's going to be just like prom, only without the Freshman date my mom had to ask for me, and the loser prom after party that left me searching for an excuse to go home and watch Second Noah. Yeah. It'll be much better than that.

I have also been doing some layouts. Don't everyone faint at once. I have been lucky enough to continue on in my duties as an American Crafts DT member, and while I was shocked they still wanted me, I am determined to make this my best year EVER for scrapbooking. I plan to start making awesome layouts...next month. For now, you get stuck with these.

I could go on all night about the week I've had. Chasing down evil cricut stealers from craigslist (don't ever let someone put the unpaid for cricut machine in her car, until you have the cash in hand FYI .Lesson learned)

And Mia slept through the night last night. I would have liked to enjoy it, however, I was so busy waking up every half hour to figure out if she was still alive, that I didn't get a wink of sleep. Tonight I plan to sleep the sleep of a college freshman after finals. That is, if Mia decides I'm worthy of an encore. Thanks for the weight advice, and I know, I *just* had a baby. I would however like to *just* be skinny. This working out thing is crimping my steelo. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day, and I shall divide and conquer. As long as I don't multiply, I'll be ok. Have a good weekend. I'm praying she sleeps...

Dressing for the part.

I've spent the better part of this past week overcoming the reality that is my life. In my attempt to become one with my teenage side, I DVR'd High School Musical 2 (Did you catch that? DVR people. SEems moving from no cable to Direct TV makes me almost socially acceptable. Not only did we get a DVR, but they threw in an iPod, FOR FREE.)

It became very apparent ten minutes into it that I was going to be watching it alone. My ever so capable at the texting husband sent me a message from the bedroom that read" Hi, Ruth, reality here, YOU'RE 25!" Little did he know I'm not the only one who tuned in, and spent the weekend singing, "You are the music in me!!"

I did however take away a few things from the movie, one thing being, that according to the extra in the scene with Ryan teaching the waitstaff how to dance, UGG boots are totally acceptable attire during the summer. Did you see her? The one with the short skirt, and the Sweat your excess belly fat off fur boots that she was wearing? I totally took this picture to show you all just how one might wear their UGG boots when it's 105 outside. This image is probably one you'd like to forget being that it's a FULL body shot, and I, well, look 6 months pregnant. This is my, "I'm going to stick to my diet, even it means saying no to everything that comes in a little debbie box shot". I never understood how Debbie stayed so little, being that the caloric content in one of her addicting treats is twice that necessary for a nursing mother.

This quest to lose weight couldn't have come at a better time, see my husband has a military ball in 4 short weeks, and the dresses that are required for such a glamourous affair tend to come in sizes that are not my own. I figured I'd save a little money and wear the dress I wore in the wedding I attended last October, 2 weeks after finding out I was great with child. For those not tuning it that time last year, here I am, in my celadon dress which I am quite fond of,

I was going to remove the black shawl and perhaps get an up-do to tame the rats nest that is my heed, and call it a day.
TUrns out, it doesn't fit.

NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.
I enlisted the help of my husband, who tends to be good at stuffing things into confined spaces.( ie, the suitcases we take everytime we head to Florida.) He took the job of dress zipper- upper with the utmost of seriousness and got it to about mid stomach and lost all ability to pull anymore. He tried to soften the blow to my ego, and said it was just my bone structure.

Bone structure, HA. Right, because there's nothing like soft squishy bone structure to keep a fat girl from fitting into her dress.

He went to bed, and I continued on alone in the quest to don the dress. I zipped it up, and decided to put it over my head. What I didn't consider was the massive amout of hair atop my head that called to the zipper like a chuck e cheese party does to my kids, and no sooner had I put it over and started to pull, the zipper lodged itself into the curls and begun to take them away, somewhere that I don't think Calgon visits.

The zipper was completely encasing the runaway strands, and had no intentions of letting go.
I tried my hardest to get it out alone, but it soon became apparent I was going to be wearing the dress as a head piece if I didn't get it out. I woke up Mike, who I might add laughed at me, much louder than necessary, and attempted to pull my strands free. No such luck. The dress was becoming quite heavy as my head was cocked to the side and with the sheer amount of billows and organza it weighs a small metic ton.

He finally busted out the scissors, (cutterbees for those of you looking for a new use for those scrapbooking supplies) and cut the curls free. I was left with somewhat of a beehive appearance, and tried not to look too defeated at the outcome.

So the search begins for a dress that A. Fits me. B. Covers my goods, as I am LDS and modesty is sort of a necessary thing. And C. Isn't the cost of a small country.

IF you know of a place where these criteria might be taken into consideration, don't hesitate to let me know.

I don't think even a diet would remove the excess "bone-structure" I have to contend with. And while I'm continuing to eat right, and exercise when I can. The pounds are not looking like they plan on evacuating the premises anytime soon.

I did cave in to the temptation that was an infomercial I saw last week and purchased this Hip hop abs Dancing, music, and the promise of abs that look like Britney's pre K-fed? Where do I sign up. (The last page, for those of you tempted as I am) It hasn't arrived yet but I'm pretty sure when it does, the pounds will fall off, and I will have no need for the girdle I purchased, just it case.

What can I say. A sucker. That's me. I'll keep you posted on my dieting sucess, or lack thereof, and if all goes as planned, I'll be modeling off my chiseled stomach in no time. (Ha. It'd take more than a hot coreographer in a tank top to chisel these abs. Try a plastic surgeon and a flat piece of granite. )

Such is the life of your truly. A life. I love.

who cares...

Your face is blurry
you needed to shave
you hate your profile
the picture is grainy
there is no focal point
the lighting is all wrong
your finger is bent in a way that makes you cringe
you cant stand that pimple
your eyebrows look bushy
you hate that it's so close

...But the way she's looking at you like you are the only man that will never let her down...

That makes this the most perfect picture ever in my book.

I saw the sign...

You did see the sign didn't you?

Well. I didn't. Apparenty I missed the memo that turning on the faucet in the middle of a drought to rinse puppy pee, (the puppy that used to be yours, but got adopted by the neighbors) off your foot. Is a NO NO. A no-no that allows housing to issue you a warning, and remind you to conserve water. As if that wasn't enough.

1. It's 104. 104 degrees. SEriously people. I stop functioning at 75. I used to think I could deal with mid 80's but after a short sojurn to the great state of Mississippi at the tender age of 15, I realized, I couldn't. 104= death. Not instant death mind you. A long slow painful sweaty one.
Not just because I sweat like a rhino in the african sun, but because SOMEBODY decided we had to get a black car this time. Not a nice cool tan one, or another white one, OH NO. We had to have black. Heats up faster than an episode of desperate housewives hot. And being that I am the NOT so SAH, SAHM. I have to be doing something, rather, GOING somewhere most hours of the day. This heat, not making it so easy. I'd settle for 90's.

2. They've stopped putting free movie rentals on the side of the large drinks at McDonalds. UM hello? Do you expect me to pay for them? I was rather enjoying getting my diet coke fix, and as a nice thank you, a free at no cost to you, aside from a 1$ hold on your credit card movie Rental. I have about 20 left from the time in which they DID put them on the cups, and I intend on making them last. I love Redbox dvd's. IT's the greatest accomplishment McDonalds has made since the inception of the Ronald McDonald House. Huge fan. That's me. And to clear up any confusion their new slogan may have caused, french fries are NOT the new popcorn.

3. My son is a walking advertisement. We haven't had cable in months, yet somehow he still manages to take in little bits of useless information to offer me at the most convenient times.

"I'm hungry, and I'm in a bad mood. " I say to my husband last night after learning my pants are not only getting smaller, but my fat rolls are now harboring cellulite fugitives.

"Then we should go to IHOP mom, COme hungry, leave happy"

"Why are these pills so dang expenisive", I ask to noone but myself, in reference to the ALLI weight loss pills, I may or MAY not want to try when I'm finsished breast feeding (I'm still a little leery of that whole, wear brown pants in case of accident thing they talk about)... "You should get them at wal-mart. Mom. Always Low prices. Always."

And my favorite. The one that got me reaching for a handful of celery in hopes of thwarting off any calories that may try to be making a home near my one cellulite free area of skin surface....

"You know that work-out video you got to help you lose weight mom? I don't think it's working" High five buddy. Way to make me smile and cry simultaneously.

It's been a long week, what after removing Aubree from the skinny jeans rack at Target, the one that landed on her head, after she grabbed ahold of the side of the rack and attempted to play target tarzan. I heard the words, bombs away, and caught the last of her blonde hair hitting the ground follow in suit by the rack of neatly organized jeans. I made sure she was ok before I promptly apologized to all surrounding shoppers, and attempted to clean up her mess. I'm not really a fan of the skinny jean, but I just prefer not buy them. No need to desecrate the entire rack. They say children should be seen and not heard. I believe that if they are not heard something must be amiss. Score one for Ruth.

Aside from the heat, and the stress of my monkey children, I have an intervention care specialist coming to oversee Charity in play time tomorrow. They are going to evaluate her and make sure she's just doing her own thing, and not delayed at all. I'm not one to push my children to grow at somebody elses rate, but if she is delayed, I would like to be able to prevent it as much as possible.

The heat has prevented me from doing anything besides workout videos, but according to my 5 year old, they arn't enough to combat the fat which is settling around my midsection. Not to mention it was brought to my attention yesterday. In my court of 8 women, I am the only one who has not had some sort of plastic surgery. I should be proud, yet somehow the perkiness they all share, ( and I don't mean on their faces) makes me want to do something about myself.

I have been taking alot of time for the kids and myself lately, trying to make sure they are ready for another long deployment. Taking lots of pictures to arm myself with during his 15 month tour, and mostly cuddling with my little mini-me.

She's 2 months old today, and being that she's my last, I'm trying to take in her daily accomplishments. Make it last you know. After all, I might be fat, but its for good reason. I wouldn't trade these guys for anything...

Escuela.

Kindergarten started today. Can you believe it? I can't. I loaded up my son's backpack with the school supplies we took out a loan to purchase. (REALLY, when did we start spending more on the stuff to keep our kids' hands clean and prevent disease, than we do on the pencils, and markers I used as a child??) I swear. The list, read like a germ removal convention. Lysol spray; 2 cans, wipes, 3 bottles of Hand sanitizer. Kleenex. Germ fighting soap. 2 packs of toilet paper, a toothbrush, and a thing of markers. Oh, so we'll spend 6 hours washing, .5 hours eating lunch, .5 hours brushing our teeth, and the last 15 minutes of the day will be spent drawing with our .24 cent markers. I do so love this time of year.

Ok, back to getting ready. I can't believe my son is going to school! Real school! He assures me Kindgergarten will be alot better because, and I quote " There are 2 recesses mom. 2 of them."
Oh the shock. But he ended up coming home at noon after puking up his lunch. SO much for my $150 worth of germ fighting Parephenelia. He did look totally cute though.

Aubree starts tomorrow, and I could not have been more worried about how well she would do. She is so shy until she gets to know you, then it's over. But when we were waiting in the teachers room for the meeting to start they called out all the kids' names. Most of the 3 and 4 year olds cried, screamed, begged to be held onto, I awaited AUbree's name with the suspense of a HArry Potter novel, and I kid you not, they called her name, and she jumped up, yelled. "HERE, I'm right here"!. And then skipped to her cubby. She even waved bye to me. I had to break it to her, this was just the meet and greet. School starts tomorrow. She loves it. Loves it.

She was all set to start her career as a hairdresser. After last weekends Sinead O' connor barbie doll hair cut, and the pony gets a mohawk take 2 evening, she turned the sheers on her own locks. I refrained from yelling, and merely told her she'd have to get her hair cut. SHORT. She was thrilled to hear of this news. A little TOO thrilled if you ask me. Seems this was her plan all along.

So, we headed to the haircut place and she got a little bob. I love it actually. When she lets me do it, it's quite cute.

I figure this way if she cuts it again, it's time to head to the barber and get her very own high and tight. I did put all scissors as far away as possible, yet the sad thing is I see her willing to cut it with a paper trimmer if necessary. She's so my stubborn child.

In weight loss news, well. I have none actually. I've maintained this current one for the past 4 days, but I'm taking that as a good sign. I could have gained. Mia is doing well, and is still vying for a position as an all night phone operator. She screams from midnight to 5, and then decides all is well, and sleeps until noon. I'm going to break her of it this week if I have to bathe her from 9am to 3pm. SO be it.

I ALSO, did some layouts this week. DOn't faint. They arn't great, but they represent my life these days. Hectic and a bit of everything.
HEREis my AC blog layout that I did. I really wanted to voice my opinion on wanting 3 kids, and having 4, and being so thankful my terms were not what was considered. SO thankful I don't call the shots.

And this one

SImple, but my Mia needed a page of her own. Thanks for the comments on Mia, we love her, and I'm glad you guys agree that she's precious.

I'd love to ramble on, but sadly, I have lunches to pack, lunches that WILL include a sandwich, despite my son's remarks, " I'm not really feeling the sandwich Ma." Feel it or not, buddy, you need more than a yogurt and a bag of chips. I too am needing something to snack on. How many points are in a nutty buddy?? 2 you say...

REady for her close up...

It appears over the course of my ignorance is bliss these past few weeks, I have neglected to share photos of the reason for my temporary insanity. It's almost as if she knew I was going to be taking pictures. Her little ski slope nose. Her little stork bites, angel kisses, or whatever you choose to call them. She really is quite the little ham.
Notice her little bum sticking out, this is how she sleeps, when she actually decides to do so. I'm quite smitten with her, despite the lack of sleep, and the incessant amount of diaper changing.

I remember someone saying that 4 kids is no differant than 3. Whoever you are.
YOU LIE. It's taken me 6 weeks to figure out how to bathe them all in one sitting, not to mention that I have 4 carseats in my car. 4 People That's the same number of seats I used to have empty in my first car. Isn't that breaking some sort of law? Trips to wal-mart have gone from daily, to " WE HAVE NO TOILET PAPER AND WE'RE OUT OF CORN COBS MOM". I can't even go to hobby Lobby without hiring a sitter. Those carts are useless for holding children. I'm beginning to think they did that on purpose.

Anyways. Enough about my inability to handle my blessings in the form of children. GAze upon Mia and smile at her cuteness. I know I do.