So. I know you're all dying to hear the story. How my darling Emma came into the world. Well, I'm dying to tell you. See. For the past 6 years, I've had this desire. A desire to do what I like to call, "the natural thing". Where I have a baby, with no pain medication, no epidural resting inside my back assuring me it is okay to push with all my might, because I'm not not gonna feel a DANG thing. Oh yes. That has been my wish. A wish that has YET to be fulfilled. Until now that is.
See. Once again, along with that wish, I also had this problem. I call it weakness. It haunts me. It follows me around like a shadow, taunting me, mocking me if you will. Telling me. You can't do it. Well guess what "shadow". This time. I did.
I bring you back to last Wednesday night. I had just walked my 3rd mile in what felt like an endless walking bout, and I was determined to walk until the baby fell out. I did not however feel the need to walk after 11pm since I was alone, and my husband had no desire to accompany me, selfish sleeping man that he is. I decided if this baby was going to come, it was going to have to be with the last of the options on my list of "things to induce labor in women over 40 weeks". Granted my Dr. had just told me the day before I was measuring small and she wasn't going to induce me unless I went over 44 weeks. Are you kidding me? That's longer than an elephant, I'm certain of it.
SO, armed with that knowledge, and a desire to GET BABY OUT. I headed to wal-mart. I was going to buy the castor oil, come heck or high water. This baby was coming OUT.
I headed up to the counter with my castor oil, and smiled as I paid for it. (What I didn't realize that my sister was behind me with a bottle of fiber laxative, and some stool softeners for her IBS). The women clearly must have thought we were coming from the constipation convention and that we needed help.
After paying for my "oil". I headed to my car where with my sister as moral support I opened the bottle. HAve you guys ever seen this stuff? I mean the texture alone is enough to induce vomitting. I thought, OK, I can do this. Just a sip, that's all I need. I filled the cap with the oil of death and proceeded to take a small sip. HEaven help us, it was like poo crap in liquid form.
I held back the urge to release the contents of my belly on the newly cleaned pathfinder, and put the cap back on. That should do it, I said. 'Twas then that my sister, the bearer of all things good news decided to read the back of the bottle. "4 TBSP. That's what it says here RUth. You need to drink some more. "
Like heck I do. I'd rather carry this baby a good 5 more weeks than partake of anymore of that. I threw it in the glove box and headed back to the house, depressed that my baby delivering strategy had once again failed me.
I got in bed at 2am, and fell quickly to sleep.
7am. I wake up to what can only be described as a cramp. Not a contraction really, more of a bother than a pain. I get out of bed and begin to do what I do every morning, saunter to the computer and check my email.
7:15. The cramps are beginning to hurt a little, and I fear that my castor oil has begun to do what it is intended. I head to the bathroom. This isn't good.
7:30. My previous experience with child birth has given me enough knowledge to know a head when I feel one. I decide that the pain I'm feeling, is quite possibly the telltale signs of birth. I grab my keys and jump in the car.
7:45. I'm on the 3rd floor of the hospital and the pain is a bit quicker then it was before. I think I feel my pelvis beginning to do things only Elvis himself would understand, and I tell the woman at the desk, I'm having a baby.
8:00 There is no denying the fact that a baby is on its way OUT. I call my husband and tell him to make haste. This is going to be fast. I inform the woman when she asks about my pain management choice, that I am going to try to to this natural, and that I don't want anything.
8:01 The desire to be at one with the earth has quickly been replaced by the knowledge that I AM WEAK. I need an epidural and I need one NOW. I tell her this between screams and huffs, and she assures me it will be just a minute.
8:15 She lied. Its been 14 minutes and I'm still lying on the exam table. The happy place I decided to go to has now turned into the 11th realm of Haites, and I can no longer breathe. I ask for something, anything, she tells me just a few more questions. I resist the urge to throw my phone at her perfectly parted head, and remember that I am a mother of 3. I can do this.
8:25. My husband has just arrived and I remind him through screams that he's getting a vasectomy. He assures me when can discuss this later. HEck, I've got all day. LEt's talk about it NOW. The woman with the hair is still writing on her clipboard, and my once small Cervix has just been checked, I'm at a 6 and I need to get an IV ASAP.
8:35. The longest 10 minutes of my life have just passed before me. I start to do the things I do right before I have a baby, I get sick, I sweat, I get sick, and I scream, never again, never again.
The nurse puts down her pen and says we can now head to the delivery room. As if I can just stroll there with my adorable blue sheet that offers no rear coverage what so ever. I stand to grab the gown she hands to me and realize I could care less if my bum is showing. THere is something heading out and I need to run to the room. I do so with all the ease of a 185 pound 9 month pregnant woman. and remind her of my epidural.
8:40. THey have just informed me, I am at a 10 and there will be no time for my deliverance in the form of liquid pain relief. I'm going to get my natural child birth. I'm going to get it despite the screams and cries to "take it away, take it away"
8:45. The Dr. says its time to push. Push you say? You want me to push? What about the pain. "Do I just ignore it? "Mike answers my rhetorical question with a yes, and again I remind myself the delivery room is not the place to decide to file for divorce.. I will give him another chance. I tell him to be quiet. and I begin to push.
8:55. I've pushed once and I am having no contractions. I've entered a peaceful place. I call it NArnia. There was no pain there, and I was content to just sit there for a moment while they decided what to do. NO contractions=pure bliss.
9:00. The baby is losing oxygen and I am too, it's time to "do this thing" My Dr. Tells me. Do this "thing?". Ok. What part are you going to do? He doesn't seem to think I'm serious and he gets his suction tool ready. I push and with as little effort as taking a breath, my baby (who's head is really the size of a small apple, ) comes flying out the birth canal. I kid you not. The Dr. Grabs her and prevents her flight into the room, and announces it's a girl. I don't know what to say. I cry. For 2 reasons.
She's out. And I did it.
Not on my own of course. I would have caved like a geico spokesman had they offered me something for the pain. But that aside. I realize I have finally done what it is I have wanted to do for so long.
I've had a baby naturally. Whether or not it was the definition of natural. I'm going to take it. Oh yes. I'll take it. And everything that comes with her. I couldn't ask for a more perfect little spirit. And for that I am most thankful =)
I'm busy as all get out and have so much I want to share. But deadlines and children are calling, some louder than others, and I must get to work. Thank you for your congrats, and I promise loads of photos and pages soon. SO very soon. Don't give up on me.... Yet;)
... was my moment.
