Learn to Swerve.

This is my life...

My mom, (who is doing super thank you all for your thoughts and prayers) Sent me this today. We have alot of the same humor. And we both have the same kind of kids. I found this to be funny, but only because the day I had warranted this comic.

This was the scene at 6:45. Let's play can you guess why she's throwing a tantrum...

Is it A. She just found out how much like her father she looks like and is trying to make it known she does not approve.

Perhaps B: Her Pajama pants and matching tops are all in a land far far away I like to call, the dryer eats them, and she is forced to wear a t-shirt belonging to her brother.

Or our last option C: She was just scolded for the 5th time today for drinking toilet water, and when we closed the door, AGAIN, and replaced her water with water from the sink AGAIN, she took to kicking and eye poking...

Oh yeah. Its option C. Although the other 2 were pretty much dead on as well. I cannot get this girl to leave the toilet water alone. She can reach the door handle, and when she knows she's about to be caught she heads inland like a cock roach come darktime with a measuring cup filled with toilet water in one hand, and anything she can use as a weapon in the other. She runs screaming knowing full well she's up to no good, and when you take it from her, Oh the pain, the anguish, she must truly be being punished. What kind of parents are we?

I have to laugh because even though its not really that funny that she is obsessed with the toilet, we've always said she acts the most like a "pet" of all our children. She loves to run around on all fours, and adores being told by the older ones what to do, even when she knows its nothing of any good consequence. She is ALWAYS digging in the cabinets, and when you try to shut them, she hops inside and makes animal noises hoping you'll give into to just one more pack of fruit snacks.

She wimpers when you put her to bed secretly knowing that if she opens her eyes real big-like, you'll let her stay up for a few more minutes. SHe's the perfect combination of rotten little turd, and perfect little superstar. I love that kids can do this. Make a day destined for failure ten times better with a smile and an antic only children can get away with. While I'm far from being a Salmon, on my way to the spawn, I anxiously await the little person forming right now. WOndering if he/she will be like Mikey with serious expressions and a killer sense of humor that he doesn't even realize. Will it be like Aubree, with her "the princess has arrived" demeanor, that leaves me laughing all the time...
Or perhaps, this one will be stubborn, like my baby girl. The one who pushed her ride on toy all the way across the circle because she refused to be like her big sister and ride it...
. It will be a bit before I know what this baby will bring, but I am so grateful to have another one. A LAST one. TO bless my life, and hopefully, the lives of others.

Take it from me. Kids. Are amazing.

Bad ideas...

Offering to take the little boy next door to Wal-mart with you only to discover on the way OUT of the store he might have a tendancy to put things in his pockets. What bugs me the most is the woman at the service desk telling him its Ok, he can have it?? Well, sure he can. And in 20 years when he does it again he can have a nice little cell at Attica. Perhaps this is what happened 15 years ago to the person who stole my $20.

Giving your cell phone number to the online college application takers, and thinking they might actually keep their word about not giving it out. I cannot tell you how many 1-800 calls I have gotten today. I finally started letting my kids answer it. Nothing deters a salesman like a 2 year old who repeats sponge-bob and "tent-you" over and over to his sales pitch.

Thinking that going back to school before your husband leaves for another year might actually happen. IF I can get my transcripts all transferred, my tuition assistance in place, and find a sitter for the 2 times a semester I have to go in to take tests, I can be on my way to a degree in as little as 5 months. Um. That's almost as long as it takes to make a baby. Could we speed it up a tad? I do have a time frame here. Studying WITH Mike here is going to prove difficult, let alone with him gone. Did I tell ya how happy I am that he's leaving again for another year? Pull me from the rafters. I can't stop smiling. Or no.

Teaching your son how to use the cart return system at the Deals store, and then watch him offer to return the carts of 2 complete strangers in exchange for keeping the quarter. I. ALMOST. DIED. Some kids sell lemonade, mine returns carts for a small fee. Yes. That's my blood people.

Letting your children get away with murder, only to have them end up on the Oprah show in the form of winged spawns who feel the world owes them something. I have to say, after watching today's show (something I haven't done in AGES, but I had sit down stuff to do, so I decided to see what she had to offer me) I am SO glad my children have SOME idea of the word no, and while spoiling them is something I might do a little of, I can gaurantee you they won't be speaking to me the way those kids did. That is UN-REAL.

Putting the hamburger in the cabinet when you go grocery shopping, only to discover your mistake a day too late. I thought I had a body in my scrapbook room today, and after a search of the premises, decided the perp was laying low in the cabinet. Sure enough. A pound of ground beef. Garsh. Cleaning that was all kinds of fun.

CAlling your mother to complain of the woes that is motherhood with 3 kids, only to find her at the ER getting prepped for GAll-Bladder removal. How lame am I? Here's my mom with her 10 kids and terminal cancer getting surgery for something totally unrelated to her current woes, and I'm offering her rancid meat, and my shopping cart business minded son. Needless to say,I felt horrible, and told her to call me when things were looking a little better. Sometimes you have to have those things happen in order to put your day in check.

On that note, if you would keep my mama in your prayers, as she is a one woman wonder and taking even a day off from the household life is gonna be hard. I'd take off to help her, but that whole $10,000 for 4 plane tickets to Alaska, with only 24 hours notice thing, sort of has me stuck. She's feeling fine, and doing well, just want to know I'm thinking of her=)

Thanks for your readings girls, and to those who keep me at this whole blogging thing. You make it worth it. Happy Thursday.

TOday I was robbed...

TO whom it may concern...

Today, as I so innocently went into the store with my windows left down to prevent the heat inside from becoming unbearable when me and my 3 children got back into our all black vehicle. YOU. Whoever you are. DEcided to steal my $20 Bill. Albeit, I tempted you, and for that I am so very sorry. BUT. That does not excuse you reaching into my car, and taking for yourself the $20 I had so carefully placed there in case of emergency. I hope your happy, and that your theiving is allowing your children to eat something good this evening. My only hope is that you learn from your mistakes, I know that I have. Never again will I trust the wal-mart parking lot to the inside of my car, no matter how sweltering it may get. I will forever be hot. Thanks to you. Eat up Potlicker. Thats the last $20 you'll ever get from me.

What is with people? Seriously.? Stealing money from the inside of a car with not one, not 2, but 3 carseats? REally? You had to find the only pathfinder with cloth seats in the whole parking lot and just knew it would deliver goodness in the form of a $20? Ick. The things I want to say. But, really, it must be pretty dire straights to be stealing from a wal-mart parking lot. I forgive you. Just don't let me catch you doing it again. I've got moves slick.

So aside from being stolen from, I had a pretty good day. Just wanted to show a few things I did last week. Hope to show you a few more things soon.

Also, I can finally share something I was able to work on. LAst year the fabulous Courtney Walsh asked me to be a part of a book about Scrapbooking your Faith. While sometimes I may seem like a woman without one, my faith really is the reason for all that I am. I was so excited to work on this book, and cannot wait to see it in print. Should be soon.... Thanks Courtney for a wonderful opportunity. Seriously. You guys will want this book.

Where was I....

Oh yes. I was taking a small blog hiatus for the week to try and get some stuff done. Stuff that included but was not limited to:

1. REading my new purchases from literary guild. I have a tendancy to sit down with a book and not get up unless famine or fear of fire moves me. I try to limit reading to night time because once I'm in the zone, there is NO stopping the train that is me engaged in a novel.

2. WAtching Randy put a serious beat down on Tim the Maniac Sylvia. Not quite the maniac now are ya Tim-bo.? DId you see they are looking for a new Xyscience girl? Hello. Who's your mama. I'm so there. Me in a bikini. NIce.

3. Finishing up some CARDS for some card calls coming up. I can't take any photos because I can't figure out how to load them up on the iMac, but hopefully I will get it figured out. This is my attempt at getting into the mags this year. If I can't do it with layouts, I might as well try my hand at some cards.

4. Organizing the scrapbook room in time to get my crap together for the LSS scrapbook yardsale they have this weekend. Apparently you can make some good money if your stuff is put together nicely. There-in lies the problem with yours truly signing up to do this. I have so much stuff that I am looking at and thinking WTHeck? Why did I think that SEI was going to stop making simple sets the day they released them, and why do I have 2 of every single one? I haven't even OPENED them up yet, let alone tried to use them, and while my style hasn't changed a ton, It has changed enough for me to realize holding on to the simple sets is probably not my wisest idea ever. SO much stuff to dig through, and I have a tendancy to get side-tracked when I organize. Oh look, here'e something I didn't know I had, I better put this in the rub-on pile, where's the rub-on pile, oh its over there by the computer, I think I need to restart itunes, I might as well check my email while I'm here, oh look, an email. I better reply. See?

5. Doing my best to counteract the 18000 calories I obviously took in over the course of the past week, because I now weigh 5 pounds more than I did at the close of business last tuesday. DId I mention I have a hard time staying cute when I'm pregnant? Mostly because I wasn't that cute to start out with.

6. Doing some layouts for eye-candy that are starting to come together. I'm in such a rut lately with scrapbooking. I look at the stuff I make and just think, gracious me, someone please spill water on this. At least then I have a reason for it looking like the ultimate in poo.

7. Being a receptionist and door answerer for my son, and his kronies. When did the kid get more friends than me? That's not part of being a mom is it? I can't sit down for two minutes when someone is calling or ringing the bell asking if Mikey can play. My husband says they use him for his toys, I like to think he's got charisma. Keeps the kids wanting more.

MOstly just wanted to take some time for me this week, but it turned out to be less for me, and more for the cleansing of the area in which I dwell.
I hope to have cuteness to share with you sooner or later. Most likely later at the current rate ideas are flowing. Hope everyone had a good week. Be back soon=)

(one of my photo loving girl on a rather windy day here in TN!)

Ode to a DEll.

Your laptops are all poo crap.

Your service is less than par.

Your hard-drives die with no warning.

iMacs are better by far.

Your widescreen needed replacing

much sooner than one would expect.

If I had a million dollars, a "don't buy dell statue"

I would erect.

So. THat would be my laptop. The one that "died" last week 2 days after its warranty right? The one that they said they would fix for free and leave my ticket open in case of death later on down the warranty free road, right?

Guess what.

They lied.

I'm sitting on the seat of choice for lazy wireless internet surfing this morning, when all of a sudden my computer, which we will now refer to as the Piece of Crap. POC for short. DEcides to start clicking. I think its my son who has a tendancy to make odd noises while playing his gameboy. I kindly ask him to stop. He says, its not me mom.

I believe him and look down at the POC. All of a sudden the screen goes blue. Some of you may know this as the blue screen of death. I immediately start to panic because I JUST did this same thing last week, and they assured me a system reboot was all I needed to do to fix it. Did I already say, they lied? Cuz they did.

I call the nice man at Dell, who looks up my case and explains that the issue I had last week was taken care of according to his records, and that all he can do is transfer me to the warranty extension office. All I hear is blah blah blah, they will take your money, please hold, blah blah blah.

I explain to the nice man on the phone that they ASSURED me this issue was covered even after the date because they could not verfiy it was fixed until a few days after the warranty anyways. He once again offers to send me to the money takers.

I finally give up the ghost, and tell him to transfer me. The whole time the guy at the warranty place is talking my computer is BEEPING as loud as it possibly can telling me of errors and hard drives that can't be found.

He sits there, taking my credit card info, talking to me, asking me how my day was going, (to which I almost told him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth). He finsishes sucking the last pennies out of my bank account, and the SECOND< I am not at all exaggerating, the SECOND, the card is approved, he says. I can tell you right now, your hard drive is dead, and that YOU will need to replace it because its not covered under the extended warranty.

WHOA NELLY. I'm sorry. You sat there the whole time knowing EXACTLY what was wrong with it, and took my money, ONLY to tell me once you could be sure you'd be getting paid and you got your skrilla that it was not covered.

He apparently had no idea that you do NOT under ANY circumstances try to pull the wool over a pregnant ladies eyes. NO siree. Not when she has 3 kids crying for fruit snacks in the background. I demanded a full refund of my extended warranty, and told him that my experiance had put a VERY bad taste in my mouth.

I'm not the type to run a smear campaign against a company, but that is just wrong.

If I was into throwing away money I'd get rid of this laptop and just buy another, but being that a new hard-drive is much less than a new computer, I'm going to grin and bear it, and get the thing fixed.

Suffice it to say, I'm not exactly giving 3 cheers to Dell today. I lost the rest of the files I had just recovered, and when I was making a back-up after the first failure, I neglected to copy my itunes and all my recent photos. I can retake the photos, but my itunes, along with season 3 of veronica mars is gone. Nobody messes with my Veronica fix and gets away with it.

I am once again proud to say that the iMac is standing strong, and going to come off conquerer in this whole mess for a second time in 3 weeks. Sad. So sad.

I'm just not in the mood to be messed with. Not today people. Not today.