Learn to Swerve.

Halloween goodness...

SO Halloween means cute pictures. And cute pictures means things to gaze upon.

My little Tearbear. She was supposed to be a cowgirl, but as you can see that was a no go after seeing this at our local Target. She got twice as  much candy as Mikey but he got a popcorn ball so he didn;t really care about much else.

So the cowgirl costume got put to good use with Charity. This is the only photo I could get of her, cornered her like a little roach I did.

Well. I have candy to eat and layouts to finish before too late, so enjoy the cuteness that is my halloween costumed children. Have a good halloween =))

We do...

So. I'm a little happier about the impending baby. Thank you all for your good wishes, and congrats. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that we are so blessed. I sometimes wish my blessings came in other forms, but babies are my specialty. If I may quote my sister...   "Your kids stole so many of the cute genes, that everyone who sees their pictures agrees that you are partially responsible for the plague of homeliness affecting poor souls worldwide..." She was totally kidding, at least about the plauge of homeliness... But I do know that children are gifts from God and that if he thought I couldn't handle it I would not have been blessed with another.

Having said that, I do  believe there are 2 kinds of pregnant people in this world. Those who get pregnant, look beautiful, at 6 months look like they ate too much at dinner, at birth appear to be bloated, and the day after go home in jeans 2 sizes smaller than they wore on the day of conception. I fall into the other pregnancy catergory. The type of woman who gets pregnant. Her body immediately begins hoarding calories. Forget the all day sickness, and loss of all intake, she gains 15 pounds just by looking at the results, and  on her 6 week appointment, already looks about 4 months, at 4 months, gets asked, oh you must be ready to pop. At 9 months causes sickness in those forced to look at her, and 2 years after birth, removes her maternity pants for a size 16. I love my genes. And my jeans. Which is why I have begun reading, running while pregnant. I fully intend to gain No more than 20 pounds during this pregnancy.

I have an appointment to get my jaw wired shut tomorrow.

In other areas of the life spectrum, I had a blast at the wedding, Kristin looked BEAUTIFUL, the wedding was straight out of Martha Stewart, and I fit into my dress, and stayed in it without revealing anything but a little misplaced back fat. I have a few photos. This was us half way through the makeup and hair session. Her and her mother and sister. Beautiful people they are.

Her and her sister. Did I mention how cute and perfect they are??

I didn;t get any pictures of the wedding,as I was in it. But when they post them online, I will share a few. Its been a fun few weeks, running around with old friends, but Its officially time to get back to work, on HOF, on being a mom, on cleaning the OTHER side of the living room, and the rest of the house. Oh, and maintaining the weight loss while making a beautiful little baby boy. I know its a boy. We're thinking Porter or Elijah. OR as Mikey called him. Coroner. I like coroner. Um Its porter mikey. Porter.

M.A.B.C.P.A.P.F.B.C.

I'm starting a group. WE're going to call ourselves. Mothers against the brith control patch as a proven form of birth control. Our basis? That my folks is a POSITIVE pregnancy test, for yours truly. Who had decided on a month ago that an IUD was in the cards, and that we were going to wait at least a few years.

    Looks like I don't run things.

SO it is still totally whacked...

But at least I have some sort of a banner.

Why the boots you ask? Well finding your daughter outside naked wearing said boots leaves one with 2 options, overreact, punish, and get mad. Or take a picture, and learn to swerve. I, am proud to say, I did the later.

Nothing good to say, but I had to say something about the banner. One day my digital skills will come full circle and I will wow you all with the banners I will create. Today, I will get my overweight self to the gym, and pack for Las Vegas. Enjoy your weekend!!

Why...

1. Why do just  the words I'm on a  diet cause me to run amuck searching cabinets for things that I never would consume on a normal basis. ie, oatmeal cookie pies, and stale cheetos. SO much for that dress.

2. Why does every clock in my house read a differant time, the furthest increments almost 45 minutes apart. Its a wonder we even wake up.

3. Why does the fact my 3 year old now prays EVERYDAY at breakfast, "please help us have a safe trip to target today", lead me to believe, I spend a TAD bit too much time there...

4."Why don't they call it star mart, it does have a star mom." That my boy is a Good question???

5. Why is it the only day my children sleep past 8 is the one day they have to wake up early? That'd be sunday...

6. Why does this computer have a faded period key The world may never know...

7. Why does it cost more to go to the aquarium than it does to go to Chuck E cheese?

8. Why does Diet coke taste so much better from the fountain than it does from a can?

9. Why does it take 3 days to gain 7 pounds, and 3 months to lose it?

10. Why is it so much more fun to drive the 8 miles to the gym, pay the 1.50 and use their treadmills, than it is to run at the one we have right here at home?

11. Why does the thought of putting the laundry away actually make the stairs seem longer than those in the empire state buliding?

12. Why do I still have 17 piles of laundry in my laundry room?

13. Why is it so much more fun to buy organizational supplies than it is to put them away?

14. Why do I get the feeling my 19 month old will never get over this fear of squirrels.

15. Why does my husband see the need to send me 13 emails a night from the BEDROOM 20 feet away, just to prove that he can on his "mobile manager".   babe. I'm sleeping. Babe. bring water. BAbe. Turn up the heat... babe. I'm too lazy to just open my mouth and speak to you. BAbe may find his gmail account blocked VERY soon.

SO I'm off to bed. Babe hasn't messaged me in 3 minutes, its safe to say he's asleep. I too must go. Night =)

The mojo troll...

Ever heard of him? He's alot like the mojo fairy, but instead of giving the mojo, he trades the ability to scrap, for the desire. What does this result in? MAss quantities of poo crap pages.

I really do know how to scrapbook. Its something I like to think at one time I had the ability to do, and do well. I guess this little thing called life sort of came in and took over, and instead of 24 hours of scrapbooking, and being obese, and lazy. I now am slightly overweight, lazy, and have 2 hours to scrapbook. I do like the less fat, still lazy Ruth, but her scrapbooking has gone to the dogs.

Its kind of funny because I used to have 4 goals when I posted my first page on twopeasinabucket.

1. Get published.
2. Be in an Autumn Leaves Book.
3. Win HOF.
4. Become a garden girl.

Not necessarily in that order, but you get my drift. This year, I am actually going to enter HOF. I bever have before. Ever. I hate contests. I hate scrapbooking to an idea, and not what inspires me, and I hate losing. BUT. After thinking it through. CK is never going to publish me if I don't get in their line of sight, and what better way to do that? Right. SO. As I post this meaningful yet hurts to look at too closely work I've done over the past few days, know that any mojo I have is being funneled straight to the HOF entry. So far. I have the rules ripped out and stuck to my bulletin board. That is step one.

I still have a wedding to attend, a dress to fit into, (which I found out today is a size 14 but runs SMALL. As in, the size 2 bridesmaid has an 8!! Can we say starvation and ex lax people!

I'll let you know how that goes. There may be more of me appearing at the wedding than most would care to see.

I leave you with these layouts, that are dear to me, but not a representation of the scrapbooker I want to be. Thanks for reading. Think THIN. Think THIn.

 

SAved by the bell...

I might be a bad mom. But I look like Kelly, and Reese. So its ALL good.

My Heritage.

And the nominee's are...

... So today was officially the last day to get your vote in for bad mother of the year awards. I was thinking I had missed it by just a bit and that I could feel no guilt going to sleep. WRONG.

I know you're thinking, you are not a bad mom Ruth. Oh my 5 year old begs to differ.

RUth to husband: I am  the worst mom ever, I feel so pointless, why do I even bother, the kids hate me, you hate me, I can't do anything right. I serve no purpose.

Mike to sad overweight housewife. "RUth, you do too. The kids do not hate you..."

Mikey (3 feet away on the couch playing whack a mole):  yes we do.

Ruth, crying. "See. Even mikey admits it."

Mike to Mikey. " WE don't say that to our moms, we should never say things we don't mean.

Mikey: "but  what if I do mean it??"

Isn;t that rich? SO of course after that, there's the boot incident, that I know just for laughing at, I will be sentanced to at least 15 years in the hereafter. What incident?

Well. I went to target tonight, really just to make myself feel better, and found this adorable pair of boots in just the right size for Charity. Little balls attached and made out of suede. SO. I buy them. Great mom that I am...

I kid you not, I pull them out of the bag and she runs in terror as if the boots are going to attack her. I grab her and try to put them on her feet all the while she's bawling, and I'm trying so hard not to laugh. and I finally realize, she thinks they are squirrels. Like the visious flesh eating ones that reside outside our front door. She is flailing and kicking as I zip them up, and I cannot even get her to stand up, let alone walk in them. SO I take them off and set them in the middle of the floor, and her and the squirrel boots had a stare down for about 10 minutes. I'm hoping next time we try to put them on, things go better. Thats 19.99 I just wasted. I do need a photo of her in them. We'll see what I can work out.

And my last horrid mom story. My poor Aubree wants to dance. Has since the day we moved here. She loves to twirl, and move it to loud music just like her mama. I told her the day we moved in she could dance, I just had to get the stuff together. Bless her little heart, EVERYnight she says her prayers, and this is what she says...

" DEar Heavenly Father, Please help Aubree to dance. Please help mommy remember to let aubree dance. And please help Aubree to dance. Please help Mikey keep his eyes closed during the prayer, and remember me to dance. amen"

SOO today was going to be dance day. We were all set, money in hand, directions, one excited little girl, and of course, its closed on Friday's. I tell her, monday baby, monday will be the day we get you into dance... Mikey, turd of all turds, leans over, and tells her for the second time in 2 weeks. See AUbree, I told you, you're never going to dance. There you have it. Bad mom. I know. Nevermind the food, the cleaning, the reading, the prayers, the teaching, the cleaning, who am I kidding, all but the cleaning, nevermind all that. Just once I want to be part of the group who DOESN't get a nomination, let alone the award.

TOmorrow. WE will dance. We will clean. and I WILL scrap. Even if they hate me. They will have awesome memories of attack boots, and better late than never dance classes. I will not let them down. =)

I'm blushing...

WOW. THANK YOU.
SO much.
Seeing all your emails and comments has me believing I might actually be able to inspire someone with this book. I will say the layouts are AMAZING. NOt mine mind you, but the others. Buy it for the others, get mine as a bonus.
I've been off the beaten path the past few days.
Not going to MT, being stressed, you know. SO.Rather than take it out in creating, I did what any 25 year old mother of 3 would do. I took a road trip. ALONE.

I headed to the coast where I grew up, and spent a few days with a friend of mine. It was far from the grown up thing to do, but my husband said ok, and I figured, If he's going to clean and take care of the kids, I'm gone.

Other than that, I've been getting ready to attend a wedding of my other BFF in the whole world, and I have to say, being a bridesmaid? SOOO not what I was thinking when I signed up.

Black shoes $67









Plane ticket: $250
Bridesmaid dress with alterations that I will never wear again:$250




















Nails pedi, and hair. $150
Jumpsuit that says bridesmaid, also never to be worn again:$55
SEeing this GIrl and this guy find each other and be a perfect match, these dirty pirates who refuse to accept the normalcy of the world around them. PRICELESS.


















Needless to say, I have to get my butt in scrapping gear with all these vacations of mine. I may be Ausente (spanish for absent,) one of the few words I actually learrned in 4 years of Espanol, for a while. Thank you again for your comments, and don't be afraid to email me for anything. Night =)

Look close...

DO you see that? I'll let you read it... =) =) =)